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Hello! I’m pretty new to this dating thing, by which I mean I’ve been in a few serious relationships, each of which started when a close lady friend and I started smooching, but I haven’t gotten to know a new person through dates. I don’t really know what I’m doing, but it’s not too late to start figuring it out! My goal for this document is to help my friends matchmake for me, or to give you the information to decide whether you’re interested.
I Am…
- A 28-year old man.
- My fuzzy attraction cluster in person-space centers on cis women and AFAB enbies, but doesn't rule out trans men or women. It doesn't contain cis men; I hope to bi-hack eventually but I'm not currently trying.
- Polyamorous, and it’s important to me.
- Based in Vallejo, CA (north of Berkeley).
- An old-school rationalist – I do most of my socializing with the rationalist community in Berkeley.
- 5'9" and 225 lbs I'm rapidly losing weight thanks to tirzepatide. Last updated: 2025-04-16
I Want…
- A casual relationship or friend with benefits.
- Lots of physical touch/intimacy.
- Interesting conversation and fun outings.
- Meetups 1-4 times a month, with daily-to-weekly texting in between.
You Should Date Me Because…
- I’m very comfy to hug and cuddle, and I like giving back rubs.
- I will cook delicious food for you.
- I’m emotionally stable and good at identifying and discussing feelings and boundaries (yours and mine).
- I’m smart and nerdy.
- People invite me to parties because I’m fun to have around, and I’d love to take you with me.
- I’m a generous and devoted lover, sexually adventurous, and kink-friendly.
- I’m open-minded and novelty-seeking in general.
- I’ve traveled to 18 countries.
- I’ve eaten some weird food – I think rooster testicles top the list.
- I’ve tried many drugs and intend to try more.
- I give great advice, according to my friends.
You Shouldn’t Date Me Because…
- I’m unemployed and live with my dad, although I’m working on remedying that.
- My job search is keeping me busy so I have limited free time.
- You’re hoping for a relationship to lead to monogamy or children, and neither is in my life plan.
I’ll Probably Be Into You If…
- We’re already friends.
- You love to cuddle.
- You enjoy strategy games, especically Magic.
- Your hair is short and/or unnaturally colored.
- Cool tattoos are also a good sign.
- You one-box in Newcomb’s Problem.
- You like hallucinogens.
It’s Not A Dealbreaker If…
- We have a big age gap in either direction.
- You’re married / have kids.
- You’re asexual – as long as you like other kinds of touch.
Testimonial
Cynthia, my best friend / Previous versions of this document called her my ex, and her testimonial was written from that perspective, but that label doesn't fit our ever-evolving relationship anymore. Ask me if you want more detail. (that’s her in the picture above), wrote a very sweet and detailed perspective of me. Read it here!
Let’s Match
Thanks for reading! If you might be a good match for me, even if you aren’t sure, please fill out this form or contact me directly! Also, feel free to share this document or otherwise set me up with people you know!
