You Are Good

Take a moment to think of something beautiful to you. Not something morally correct or widely appreciated, but something you delight in. For me, this could be a friend’s smile at a party, or a steaming bowl of delicious stew, but I can’t say what brings you joy. Got it? Good. Make the world have more of that. You are good, your tastes and values are good, and the world should be shaped in your image. You are good, because you are the source of your values. Recognizing yourself as good is the basis for making the world better. Notice how you want the world to be, and fix things that are out of place. You don’t have to fix everything; indeed, you aren’t obligated to fix anything. It’s just that the more you improve the world, the better the world will be. And I reiterate, “better” means more in line with your own vision of a good world, not what anyone else says you ought to work towards. ...

October 8, 2025

Some Nonsense For My Third Halfhaven Post

Bleh, I really don’t feel like writing, but I didn’t write yesterday, and the commitment for Halfhaven is a post every other day. This one’s gonna be 500 words of low-effort stream of consciousness, just to clear that bar. I’m not obligated to write, of course. I don’t really believe in the concept of obligation. I hope to do a high-effort post on this at some point. For now, I recommend Nate Soares’s writing on the matter, which heavily influenced my own view. No, I don’t have to write, so why am I doing so even though I don’t feel like it? Well, I want to follow through on Halfhaven. I’m looking forward to the feeling of pride about my 30 blog posts at the end of two months. I’m against self-coercion, but sometimes hard or unpleasant things are good to do. The trick is to remind oneself of why one is doing it. For a while, I just didn’t do hard things, and it turned out that only doing easy things wasn’t a recipe for happy thriving. Ever closer to my dao! ...

October 5, 2025

Introducing Halfhaven

Index of posts for Halfhaven Treading Water, Oct 1 Introducing Halfhaven, Oct 3 Some Nonsense For My Third Halfhaven Post, Oct 5 You Are Good, Oct 8 SlutCon Vignettes: Day 1, Oct 11 More About Slutcon, Oct 16 Good Grief, Oct 20 Letter To My Past, Oct 23 Free Writing, Oct 24 CFAR Workshop: Day One, Nov 6 Too Busy, Nov 7 Veil of Ignorance, Nov 13 My Thoughts On Nangs, Nov 16 ...

October 3, 2025

Treading Water

I signed up for a membership at my local YMCA a couple days ago, inspired by this post. The YMCA is full-featured, and remarkably cheap remarkably cheap by Bay Area standards, as far as I can tell. My plan is to start a strength training habit of some sort, but I haven’t done so yet. Instead, today I took advantage of the pool. I was low on energy today, due most likely to some mix of poor sleep habits and the drain of ongoing emotional processing. Whatever the cause, with the clock approaching 7 p.m., I found myself lying in bed, ruminating on some issues in my life and staring at the overdue “Exercise” on my to-do list. Luckily, when the inspiration struck that I could solve both problems in one fell swoop, I still had enough motivation to get up and give it a shot. I grabbed my bathing suit and a towel, and walked down to the gym. ...

October 1, 2025

Lower the Bar

The world has a shortage of people doing things. I think one reason for this is that people are afraid the things they do won’t be “good enough”. Something is better than nothing; don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Lower the bar for ideas As I’ve previously discussed on the blog, it’s possible to write more by writing worse. I’m publishing this rough collection of tidbits and references, rather than publish nothing because I haven’t written “enough”. ...

August 25, 2025

Why I Made A Patreon

I’ve been struggling to figure out how to make money lately. I used to be a software engineer, you see, but that line of work isn’t holding my interest these days the way it used to. In my younger years, people joked about me being a robot. I’d always been somewhat fixated on logical rigor, and while that cognitive habit sometimes held me back in matters of friendship, it made programming easy and fun. ...

August 22, 2025

Everyone Cooks Mushrooms Wrong

I thought I hated mushrooms, but yours are making me reconsider. – My brother Mushrooms are one of my favorite ingredients to cook with, bringing rich umami flavor and a delightfully meaty texture to dishes. Because they can be so delicious, it makes me sad that so few people seem to get them right. I’ve seen even nice restaurants serve pale, watery mushrooms, which is a travesty, especially when the fix is so simple. ...

June 29, 2025

Dadvice on Communication

I want to share some communication advice my dad gave me recently. I had been telling him about some uncertainties I had around a work situation and a dating situation, and the advice was relevant to both. Really, it’s a general technique to help resolve any interpersonal uncertainty. The communication technique consists of a few components: Ask questions. Share information. Use simple sentences. Ask Questions In an uncertain situation, you’re missing information about the other person’s internal state. You want to know what they’re thinking and feeling. Instead of wondering and guessing, you can just ask! The other person has more insight than you into their experience, and will often be happy to tell you about it. ...

June 26, 2025

The 80/20 Beauty Guide: Maximize Impact, Minimize Effort

This is a guest post by my friend Cynthia. If you’d also like to host your writing here, reach out! Feeling overwhelmed by endless beauty advice? Confused by 12-step skincare routines and wondering if you really need to contour your way to attractiveness? You don’t. This guide cuts through the noise to give you the essentials - the 20% of effort that delivers 80% of the results. Whether you’re a complete beginner or just want to streamline your routine, these fundamentals will have you looking and feeling great without the overwhelm. ...

June 11, 2025

Note To Self on Writing Quickly

It’s halfway through Quiethaven at LessOnline, an hour where conversation is forbidden to encourage writing. I’ve been meaning to publish more content here, but often find myself bottlenecked on writing speed. The ideas bounce around my head, but it’s daunting to sit down and write a whole post, so the posts don’t get written and the blog stays more barren than I’d like. I’ve been thinking and talking about how to publish more, and this post will both describe and apply my conclusions. I intend to occasionally read this post as a reminder to myself, and if you enjoy it as well, so much the better. Here’s how I’ll publish more content on my blog: ...

June 1, 2025