This is a guest post by my friend Cynthia. If you’d also like to host your writing here, reach out!

Feeling overwhelmed by endless beauty advice? Confused by 12-step skincare routines and wondering if you really need to contour your way to attractiveness? You don’t.

This guide cuts through the noise to give you the essentials - the 20% of effort that delivers 80% of the results. Whether you’re a complete beginner or just want to streamline your routine, these fundamentals will have you looking and feeling great without the overwhelm.

Note: The health and hygiene sections apply to everyone. The styling sections focus on women’s fashion since that’s my expertise, but the principles can be adapted.

Why This Matters

Let’s be honest about what we’re really after here. Beauty helps you secure romantic partners, sure, but it’s bigger than that - people just LIKE you more when you’re beautiful. They’re friendlier, more helpful, more likely to give you opportunities. It’s not fair, but it’s true.

This guide focuses on the physical side because that’s what I know best. But there are tons of other ways to get those same returns - the likability, the attraction, the doors opening. Wearing something unusual that gives people an excuse to talk to you (a patched up battle-jacket, interesting earrings, hell, even a cape!). Being genuinely interesting - having good stories, funny observations, being up on what’s happening. Bringing homemade cookies to work. Having skills people admire. Being the person who remembers names and asks follow-up questions.

The beauty stuff in this guide is just one tool in the toolkit. But it’s no excuse to slack on the others.

Part 1: The Universal Foundations (For Everyone)

These basics transcend all beauty standards - whether you’re punk, preppy, or somewhere in between, these fundamentals matter.

Your Health is Your Glow

The big three: Sleep, water, movement. That’s it.

  • Sleep: 7-8 hours consistently beats any concealer for tired-looking skin
  • Water: Make it your default drink - your skin will thank you
  • Exercise: Just 2x per week makes a dramatic difference. Find something you actually enjoy, even if it takes time to discover what that is

Weight note: You probably don’t need to be as skinny as you think you do. There’s a significant gap - up to 20 lbs!- between what’s actually considered maximally attractive and what people think they need to achieve. Losing 5-10 pounds won’t make you happy or change your life.

That said, if you’re substantially overweight, losing weight is likely one of the highest-return things you can do for your appearance. I know this is way over 20% effort - it’s difficult and can take a long time. Don’t rely on dramatic diets; focus on changing your default eating habits.

Healthcare: Stay current with checkups. Treating underlying health issues improves how you look and feel more than any beauty product ever could.

Hygiene That Actually Matters

Showering

Showering when your BO is noticeable, your skin has accumulated oil or gotten dirty, or when you’ve exerted yourself enough to sweat has a huge impact. For most people, every other day is sufficient, but some people can get away with even more seldom, and some really need the daily shower.

Product tip: Avoid 3-in-1 shampoo/conditioner/body wash products or even 2-in-1 products - they don’t do any of their jobs well. Get separate products.

Hair Washing

Most people over-wash their hair. I shampoo every other shower when my hair starts looking stringy (around day 4). Condition every time you shampoo, and maybe also on non-shampoo days. Experiment here - your mileage may vary. Use sulfate-free shampoo for your hair type. Bonus points if it smells delicious.

If you really want your hair to look extra lucious, you can add in a product called ‘deep conditioner’ aka leave-in conditioner, approximately every month.

Shaving & Grooming

Women: shave legs/underarms: Shaving every shower is propaganda. If you regularly wear sleeveless tops, shaving your armpits matters to most people. If you wear shorts/skirts regularly, leg shaving is similarly important. So in summer, maybe every week (3ish showers) is plenty. Consider the season - “regularly” means different things for people whose hair grows at different speeds.

Men: shave facial hair: Keep your neck clean-shaven even if you have a beard - it’s the difference between “intentional facial hair” and “forgot to shave.” For clean-shaven faces, every other day usually works unless you have very fast-growing or very visible facial hair. Invest in a decent razor and replace blades regularly.

Everyone: Keep nose and ear hair trimmed. It’s a small detail that makes a big difference.

Skincare

Ignore the 10-step routines. I saw understanding and getting into skincare as SUPER intimidating - there’s so many products with confusing names! I’ll cut through it for you.

You need two things: cleanser (also called face wash) and moisturizer.

Basic routine: Every morning, wash your face with cleanser, rinse and pat dry, then put on AM facial moisturizer with SPF. If you’re spending more than a few minutes outside today, add sunscreen to your exposed skin (check arms, legs, front and back of neck, etc.). That’s it! Easy peasy, right? You can also exfoliate (scrub off dead skin, either with a rough surface or chemically with some cleansers) to increase how soft your skin is. If you do, do it less often than the rest of your routine, perhaps once a week. Don’t worry too much about it though, people don’t really notice.

Product rec: For a product line that’s relatively cheap, available, and proven to work, check out CeraVe. Pick a cleanser for your skin type, or a general one if that’s too overwhelming. If acne is a concern, pick one with salicylic acid.

Various Spot Treatments: salicylic acid cleaners should prevent blemishes, but if you do find yourself still dealing with them, a bit of benzoyl peroxide should clear it up. If you want to reduce puffiness (for example from allergies or crying), apply an ice pack.

Optional add-ons: Night moisturizer, eye creams, serums, masks, etc. They can be fun, and if you’re feeling really solid on everything else feel free, but they’re above the 20% effort threshold. Never bother with tanning salons or spray tans.

The Underrated Essentials

Teeth

People don’t think about teeth as an important part of beauty, but it totally is! Brush morning and night, floss regularly (for me it’s about once a week, but I know it should be more), brush your tongue for good-smelling breath, see your dentist regularly. This has a significant effect on your attractiveness. Consider getting an electric toothbrush.

Smelling Good

EVERYONE gets a boost from smelling good. Keep your teeth brushed (maybe an extra brushing before a date!), wear deodorant every day, and find a signature scent that you spritz on daily. Once you’ve found your scent, this is basically no additional work with crazy strong returns.

I recommend going to a perfumery or department store where an expert can help you pick something that matches your tastes. What scents you pick will be personal preference - some are more masc, femme, or neutral. I like to have different scents for summer and winter, but that’s just me.

Nails

Don’t let them look chewed or ragged. File regularly so they’re smooth and rounded. If you polish them, remove it when it chips. Getting fancy dip or gel manicures is super not worth it.

Hair

Find a cut that flatters your face shape and isn’t high-maintenance. Talk to a stylist about what works for your face. Avoid super trendy cuts or anything requiring constant upkeep (like bangs or shaved sections) unless you’re very committed.

Makeup: Find Your Power Products

The 80/20 approach: Instead of buying a full makeup collection, discover which 1-2 products make the biggest difference for YOUR face. (or zero! You don’t need to wear makeup at all.)

The testing method: Try products one at a time (borrow from friends, test at makeup stores, or buy drugstore versions to experiment). Put on just that one product and see if it makes a noticeable difference. If it doesn’t wow you, skip it.

Common high-impact products:

  • Eyeliner: Often the single biggest eye-opener (literally)
  • Lip color: Lipstick, gloss, or even tinted chapstick can brighten your whole face
  • Mascara: If your lashes are light or short, this might be your game-changer
  • Concealer: Great for covering blemishes or under-eye circles if they bother you

Lower-impact for most people: Foundation, eyeshadow, blush, contouring. These can be nice-to-haves but rarely provide the dramatic improvement that justifies daily application.

Your mileage will vary: My daily routine is eyeliner + lip color, sometimes mascara for special occasions. Yours might be completely different - maybe just mascara makes you feel put-together, or maybe lip color alone does the trick.

The key: Find your 1-2 products and master applying them quickly. A 2-minute routine you’ll actually do beats a 20-minute routine you’ll skip.

Part 2: Fashion and Styling

This section focuses more on advice for women.

Know Your Audience

Your styling should match your primary environment and goals:

Professional/Office: Clean, classic, low-maintenance. Think straight lines, wrinkle-free fabrics, minimal individuality. Both skirts and pants work - choose based on your comfort and workplace culture.

Dating/Attracting Men: Statistically, men tend to either have little preference between masc- and femme- styled women, or a strong preference towards femininity. Therefore, unless you’re sure you want to attract this specific type of man, I encourage you to lean more feminine than your default for this goal. This might mean heels (if you can walk in them), ballet flats if you can’t, skirts/dresses, or low-cut tops that show your figure. The key is highlighting one asset at a time - if you’re showing cleavage, keep legs covered; if you’re wearing a short skirt, go with a modest top. It might be a little uncomfortable the first time you wear an outfit that ramps up the sexiness, but it gets easier and more fun each time.

If you’re trying to attract women or not trying to attract anyone right now, just focus on the other parts of this guide. If you’re just trying to attract one particular person, like your spouse, then stop reading generic advice and talk to them about what they like.

Cultural/Subcultural Fit: This is mainly about fitting in with other women in your group rather than broad attractiveness. Make friends with women in your niche and get specific advice from them. Focus on medium-effort elements that help you belong. Examples might include ethnicity specific beauty standards from your mom or aunt like how to tie a sari, dying your hair or getting some piercings to show belonging with different flavors of alt, the right shape of sneakers for skateboarding, you name it.

For Yourself: The most important category. Pay attention to others whose style you genuinely admire - what specifically catches your eye? You might be into a certain color palette (pastels, jewel tones, high-contrast / b+w), a certain fabric style (drapery, ruffles, straight professional lines, asymmetry), a certain presentation /combination (she looks like such a rocker! A loose fitting tank top shows a lacy bralette underneath, with ripped jeans! She looks like such an artist! What a cool apron! She looks like such a happy fairy with that sparkly hair!) Start with a few thrifted basics in that direction rather than overhauling everything. Eventually wearing what makes you feel beautiful will be second nature.

Miscellaneous styling tips

1: Black is your friend. It’s slimming and flattering on everyone. A well-fitting black tee, black skirt, black pants, and black jacket can style in countless directions.

2: Create contrast. Mix fitted with flowy (crop top + wide pants, or fitted pants + flowy top). Mix modest with revealing (covered legs + cleavage, or short shorts + high neckline). Try combining different textures. Contrast creates visual interest.

3: Perfect your “tips.” Hair, nails, shoes, and bag - these edges of your outfit have outsized impact. Keep jewelry simple and consistent (all gold or all silver). One neutral everyday bag that’s not oversized. Clean, filed nails.

4: Show your waist. Almost universally flattering - fitted tops, dresses, or belts at the waist. Don’t hide under oversized everything.

5: Fit is everything - A $20 shirt that fits perfectly will look better than a $200 shirt that’s too big/small. Even basic pieces look expensive when they fit your body properly. This means less online shopping and more fitting rooms! For important events with repeat-outfits (a dress you’ll wear as a wedding guest a few times, or your default interview outfit) tailoring is usually worth it, and may be more affordable than you think.

6: Color near your face matters most - The color of your top/scarf/earrings affects how your skin looks way more than your pants or shoes. If you look washed out in certain colors, avoid them near your face.

7: Undergarments matter - A well-fitting bra changes how everything else looks on you. They’re also important for your back and your mental health. Visible bra lines, straps, or underwear lines can make even good outfits look sloppy.

8: Own your space. Stand up straight, make eye contact, smile. Confidence is the best accessory.

The Personality Factor

Be approachable. This is the highest-impact change you can make. Smile at strangers, ask small questions (“Love your phone case - where’s it from?”), make eye contact, put your phone away in social situations.

Yes, some people will say women don’t owe friendliness to anyone. That’s true - you don’t owe anything to anyone. But choosing connection over isolation improves your life and everyone else’s around you.

Your 80/20 Beauty Checklist

Daily (15 minutes):

  • Brush teeth + tongue morning/night
  • Face wash + moisturizer with SPF (morning)
  • Deodorant + signature scent
  • Smile and make eye contact

Every other day:

  • Shower (shampoo every other shower)

Weekly:

  • File nails
  • Floss teeth (aim for more, but weekly beats never)

Monthly:

  • Trim/shape eyebrows if needed
  • Assess if hair needs a trim

One-time investments:

  • Find your signature scent
  • Get a haircut that works for your face
  • Build a capsule of well-fitting basics in black
  • Learn what styles make you feel confident

Remember: You’re already beautiful. This is just about highlighting what’s already there, not transforming into someone else. The goal is to feel confident and put-together without beauty routines taking over your life.