I’ve been struggling to figure out how to make money lately. I used to be a software engineer, you see, but that line of work isn’t holding my interest these days the way it used to. In my younger years, people joked about me being a robot. I’d always been somewhat fixated on logical rigor, and while that cognitive habit sometimes held me back in matters of friendship, it made programming easy and fun. ...

On the first night of SlutCon, brimming with energy, I wrote up some vignettes from the first day. As is so often the case with events like these, the rest of the weekend was a lovely blur. I’ve taken some time to process and reflect, and I want to share some of what I experienced and learned. More Vignettes Saturday I wrestle with a friend of mine as onlookers play music on a Bluetooth speaker: first Duel of the Fates, then Careless Whisper. It’s a hard-fought match, and we both get sweaty and scraped up. At one point, I have him in a headlock, but inexperienced as I am, I worry about hurting him and let up. After the bout, he calls me out on this, saying that he likely would have tapped out and given me the win if I had followed through. I reflect on the parallel to flirting; it’s hard to go for what I want if I’m not sure I can trust my partner to enforce their own boundaries. ...

I’ve been intrigued by the world of quantitative trading for many years, so when ex-Jane Street trader Ricki Heicklen ran a trading bootcamp at Manifest recently, I jumped at the opportunity! The bootcamp was a two-day intensive program designed to teach the fundamentals of quantitative trading and provide a glimpse into the experience of being a professional trader. Using a play currency, we went through various hands-on exercises to solidify concepts taught in energetically-delivered lectures. I learned a lot and made friends, and had so much fun that I’m considering a career pivot to quant trading. So, this post has two purposes: to give interested readers some background in trading concepts and a sense of my bootcamp experience, and to serve as a proof of work showing potential employers what I learned. ...

Musing on being busy.

What I learned in my first day at the Center For Applied Rationality.

Jotting down some random thoughts.

Some advice I’d give to my 25-year-old self.

I grieved recently. The process was intense and unpleasant, and it helped me a lot. In this essay, I’ll talk about my experience and my theory of why it was good for me. Some background context: my friend broke up with me around a year ago. I had expectations for the future, a vision for our life together. I’m sad about losing those. I didn’t want to be sad. I clung to her for palliatives to keep the sadness at bay: sex, time together, reassurances. The pressure hurt her. I started trying to push the sadness down so I would stop hurting my friend. ...

Some stories from my first day of SlutCon. All names have been changed to protect the anonymity of the people involved, except for Nick, who is one of the organizers of the event. I go to a talk on men’s fashion. The presenter points to me as a positive example, someone she would see and be intrigued by. This makes sense; I’ve been getting a lot of compliments on my cloak and matching dyed face hair. ...